Notes from a mommy's diary

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,a child's sex education should start when he or she is ready to ask questions about their bodies and while explaining it is important to use proper names for all body parts.

In India,this can be a little tricky...

Here's what happened when a friend tried that with her five year old boy-

We were at the playground and my friend and her kid were playing with a group of kids his age, when suddenly he pushed a girl to the ground. My friend hurriedly intervened,"Don't push beta" she cajoled "she is a girl." The little boy pondered for a moment before piping up "Yesss ,she is a girl, she has a Vagiiiiinaaaaaa!!!"

The girl's mother, (we'll call her Mrs Singh) frothed at the mouth and almost had a fit. My friend's son was quickly hushed up.

Later he was warned about talking about certain body parts in public,which confused him for sure. I mean isn't the entire point of the exercise meant to explain that there is nothing dirty about our bodies?

Any way, that little girl is no longer allowed to play with my friend's kid. Absolutely no prizes for guessing why.

So....when my boy turned four, to be on the safe side, I stuck to baby names for body parts.

In simple language, he made 'susu' with his 'nunu' and he was warned that if he er explored around the area too much,his nunu would fall off. And that, was that.

Now last week something really funny happened-

My four old boy saw me in a swimsuit for the first time. "Mamma?" he asked tilting his head thoughtfully "where is your nunu?"

Stumped by this query, I had two choices-

a)Take this opportunity (defined by the American Academy of Pediatrics as a 'Teaching Moment') and explain the difference between girls and boys.

b)chicken out

I of course chose the latter

"Baby" I cooed "I don't have a nunu."
"Where IS it?" he demanded worriedly

I tried again, "Sweetie, I'm a girl and girls don't have
nunus," I said, hoping that that was the end of the topic.
"But MAMA!!" he persisted "How will you make susu?"

I hid a smile, "Well baby,girls don't need that to make susu"
"NO" he wailed, clearly upset "we have to buy you a new one."

Now to prevent a complete meltdown I soothed him,
"Don't worry,we don't have to buy one, Mama will borrow Dada's"
(at this, Dada chuckled loudly)

My son was silent as he mulled over it,then suddenly brightened
as he came up with a priceless solution "Mama, i got an idea,we
will cut off Dada's nunu and then you can stick it on with gloopy glue!"

My kid looked pleased, his Dad stopped chuckling and I simply fell down laughing.

MAID IN MUMBAI

OK! OK! I was wrong. I was frickin blind. I was so sure that Shiney was innocent, that the DNA report (confirming sexual contact between him and his maid) was like a slap in the face.

In his defence plea, Shiney has claimed that the sex with the maid was ‘consensual’ (yikes!) and there was nothing amiss about the nail marks found on his body, as such an “injury was possible during sex” (yuck!).

I feel soooo stupid now.

The thing is – Shiney had never been linked with anybody.

All that was written/said about him, was that he had the tendency to rub his co-workers the wrong way (no pun there) and that his marriage was in trouble.

Now who would think that an intelligent, good looking actor, from such a decent family, would throw it all away for a... maid?

I am forced to wonder… what hope do us ordinary wives have against the average hottie?!

I don’t know about you people, but I really feel sorry for his poor wife, Anupam.

That woman really put herself out there – valiantly defending her husband’s honor before the hungry microphones and flash bulbs.

How humiliating for her! How tough it is going to be.... braving the winks, the whispers, the nudges and sniggers.

That poor lady is not going to call for a press conference for a long long long time.

If only these men would stop and think about their families and kids before they unzip and throw it all away for a roll in the hay.

As for me… I am firing my maid!

Hurrah! The courts came through, once again for the terrified ICSE/CBSE bachchas and threw out the 90/10 percent seat sharing formula(at least I was right about that one!)

The government order was called....ahem 'Unconstitutional, Arbitrary and the Epitome of unfairness', among other things.

Now the government is busy wiping the egg off its face. (whatta disgrace!)

Will these politicians never learn?

Sab milkar bolo – Indian Judiciary ki Jai!

One thing that I find very funny, if these lions, (ok, cubs) in politics are brave enough to swear, to chop off the hands, of the enemies of the Hindus of this country, then..... why do they need their security upgraded?

Why do they need security at all?

Why does any threat, real or imagined, distress them so much?

Aha! It is very easy to give inflammatory, poisonous, hate mongering speeches from behind a cordon of security.

Now someone, who loves his countrymen so much, is so protective of them, and is brave enough to openly give hate speeches, should not be afraid of death threats, should he?

If the central government is really secular, it should seriously consider removing completely, the security of any politician, who gives any kind of hate speeches.

Phir dekhna – hamaare netaon ke mukh se sirf phool hi jhadenge :-)